I lost my mate….

Earlier this year I got a call from a mate of mine, a mate I didn’t often hear from……

“Wow something serious must have happened for you to call me man…..” I answered the phone with

The voice on the phone wasn’t his, it was his girlfriends.  He’d had a suspected massive heart attack and was found unresponsive on the floor of his place.

Now I’ve lost family and friends before, I know how it goes, and I’m not trying to sound callous but it’s just a part of life. But this one hit me pretty hard.

I’d known this guy for more than 20 years, we’d been out nights before, shared stories, jobs, a mutual love of technology and healthy distrust of authority, I’d gone through some of his life shit with him – not helping much but just being around.

Except I wasn’t that much.  We’d interact mostly via email, phone, occasionally meeting for a brew and a chat, always planning a beer – I owed him plenty.

But now we won’t.

I’ve grieved but I’ve also felt selfish.  In the four years or so I’ve been running the business I’ve had more time but I didn’t take time out to go see my mate.

And now I can’t.

It’s funny how life teaches you lessons, sometimes in very subtle ways.  I’m not being told I was a bad mate, I’m not being told I can do better.  But my lesson here is that too much focus can mean you stop having time for other, arguably just as important, parts of your life.

Today I grrr’d arrgh’d and swore my way through getting my kid some semblance of a costume scraped together for Roald Dahl day.  I was stressed because we were in a rush.

Didn’t want to spoil her 100% attendance record.

But you know, it was actually fun, despite the stress and the lunatic raving from me.  And it taught me something else.

Even moments that, at that time, don’t feel precious are.  So enjoy them.

And please, if you can freehand Fox whiskers with a mascara pen any better than I can I tip my hat to you.

And to you John, I raise a beer.  One of the very many I owe you.  I’ll miss you brother.

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