It’s been a strange week or two.
In the previous ranty post I wrote how it was announced that the parent company of my current employer had announced a formal intention to wind down the studio, hitherto known as the largest games development company in Cornwall.
So that was a bit shit wasn’t it?
Elsewhere the absolutely wonderful TV series, Succession, was winding up it’s fourth and final series (sorry, I’m English, it’s a Series, not a Season!) – a show that I came to late (found it as Series three was airing) in the day but came to absolutely adore.
I’m a real sucker for well-written thought-provoking drama and I love to dissect the meanings and nuances of some of the writing beats.
Shows like the amazing Halt and Catch Fire (I “found” that one after it was done and binged the whole thing in a week or so!), Mainiac, an awesome one-shot that I wrote 1000s of words about and never posted. Lord of the Ring……haha, nope, sorry, joking. But there’s a lot of them, maybe someday I’ll write about my absolute faves.
But Succession has been a particular highlight in the last year or two. From one of the many articles I’ve read about it recently it’s not a show with high viewing figures (??) which is a real shame, as it’s quite possibly one of the best written things I think I’ve seen in years.
For the uninitiated it is what it sounds, a show about a Succession – specifically the aging patriarch of a family who owns/operates a massive media and lifestyle business, Waystar Royco. The CEO, played beautifully by Brian Cox, is a shouty, sweary, intense Scot who reminds me of many “old school” Management I’ve worked around over the years, the kind of people that probably keep HR departments busy “these days” with constant complaints from staff!
In the first episode he suffers a health scare and this advances the process of finding his Successor as CEO. It’s teed up that it will be his second son, Kendal, but of his three other children at least two of them feel it should be them……and with that, we’re off.
This does not really do the show justice at all, there are some fantastic supporting characters; the old “Bull” Execs who’ve been with the company years, seen it all, younger staff vying for more rank, incomers to the family, partners both legitimate and less so, and more distant relatives.
It’s a rich tapestry of people, many pretty overtly just in it for what they can get, and it’s all laid out there on the screen, some incredible depictions of greed for power and wealth.
You see they’re rich, really really, rich! I saw an interview where one of the actors talked about a lack of coats on set, because they’re so rich the private jets drop them right next to the car, the car to the office and so on, no need for coats, rich enough not to need them!
So it goes that a large proportion of the characters are utterly utterly disgusting people!
It’s a show, essentially, about sibling rivalry in a stinking rich family, with a group of seriously ugly (inside) people who mostly have no idea what they’re really like and how they come across, they just how so much power and money they simply do not care.
I’m minded about how politicians and disgraced “TV stars” tend to act when something unfortunate happens, yeah it’s like that, nobodies fault but mine.
And that brings me kind of onto the point.
I feel, in some way, probably less so now some time has passed, that the parent company potentially winding up the company I work for is, in part, somehow, my fault.
If I was filthy rich, lacking any self-reference, or just had lived a privileged life, I probably just wouldn’t care, I wouldn’t take it personally, but that’s what it’s like for me, I do.
I think that’s what a lot of certain personality types would.
I don’t want to wave the depression flag, or pin a label on to the thing, it’s just a feeling about a situation, but when you’re down, as they saying goes, you’re down!
I never really thought I was going to work in games, I still enjoy playing them, doing the same things I do when watching a good TV drama, assessing, watching, trying to understand, learning, and having the job “in” it has been a real trip!
Now I realise that my future may lie elsewhere and I’m sad.
Sad in a similar way that a TV show I loved is done.
Even though it was full of horrible people fighting over some, ultimately, meaningless thing to posses.
But don’t let that statement ruin the show for you, if you’re into really well done Drama (by UK talent, Jessie Armstrong no less) then go get it! Just don’t be going there for a nice warm fuzzy feeling.
That’s not to say that’s all it has, there’s comedy in there, in some cases very dark humour, but whip-smart and laugh out loud at times, some really compelling characters and a real slice of awesome acting talent including, apparently, the very method Jeremy Strong.
I’ve just been struck by the oddness of the moment, how my career (one that was essentially “resurrected” just over a year back) received a little peak and as I ponder what my next move might be I follow this show to it’s end and witness the ultimate succession of the title and, make no mistakes, this show is a tragedy, or a dramagedy if you will, and there’s no nice ending, really, for any of them!
A lot of modern shows are, inevitably, accompanied by the YouTube comment brigade, and some lucky enough to be lavished office companion media, Succession has a podcast and some behind the scenes stuff online, and I’ve consumed it all, mostly on the commute (handy!) which has been like a comfort blanket.
And then today I found this
Which I would suggest you only watch if you’ve finished the series!
And I’m reminded of one of the reasons why I love reading.
I get to conjure up the missing detail in my mind, reading something like the Hobbit, which already comes with some great description by Tolkien, there is still space for me to come up with my own thoughts about the world, and what’s in it.
With TV shows in recent years so much fuss is made about the ending and sometimes it ruins a shows credibility if it ends badly, oh yes Game of Thrones, or even Lost, I’m most definitely looking at you – with Succession, I think anyone watching knows how it’ll end, I know I “got it” I desperately wanted something different, a bit like my worry for my future career, but I feel I already know how it’s going to end up.
So the video above present a series of alternative endings, some very much like my own thoughts about how it might have ended, but knowing it could not, it’s still fun to play with it a little – the concept of “head-canon” is something I full endorse.
As for me and what’s next. Who actually knows?! There are options, some look better some look bloody awful if you stop and think about it, but what I need to do and what we all need to do, honestly, is take a beat, remember what you are and what you have, and value yourself and your skills.
I think the most human of us that emote in the way I mentioned further up will be feeling bad, it’s not instinctive for most people to see positives in negatives, but as the future is unwritten we should be able to shape it more in the way we want to.
I want to keep working in the gaming industry because it’s really interesting and even fun at times. I can do the technical stuff easily, I have plenty more to give so if I really put my mind to it who knows?
Wanna bet the next post will be about how I’m working at Costa now?!
I need to go meditate on this!
(Note: apologies to Costa for in some way implying you’re not something to aspire to! You’re just not the industry I want to land in is all!)`